Sunday, April 3, 2011

Cujo

Thank you for all the kind comments here and on Facebook – Jeff and I really appreciate them.  I’ve told him that Cujo touched more lives than he ever realized and the stories everyone has related regarding their memories of Cujo have only proven my point.

We are definitely feeling the gap in our home right now…it’s a lot quieter around here (amazing how quiet 2 beardies can be actually) and a lot sadder.  Many tears have been shed and I’m sure there are more to come.

Cujo lived the best life a dog could possibly have.  He spent his summers backpacking in the Sierras and Idaho, he played in the snow in the winter, he went on long walks 2+ times a day (as often as he could con Jeff into them), he snuggled Jeff on the couch for TV time every night.  He merely had to give Jeff the right look at noon and he got to go out to lunch.  He slept where he wanted, ate when he wanted, and only wanted to accompany his master anywhere and everywhere.  He deigned to let me live in the house and he liked his beardie brothers, but he lived for Jeff.

I made this video several years back, so it doesn’t even come close to covering his whole life but I think it demonstrates the fun he got to have at all times.

Cujo’s last day with us started out as normally as ever – he got to go out to his favorite field and stroll around marking the fenceposts and reading his p-mail.  The beardies went off to the groomer and he hung out with Jeff at home.  Cujo got excited about something Jeff was doing and did the world’s most cute little spazzy dance of joy.  It is likely that this is when he bloated. 

Jeff went out to run an errand and I kept an eye on Cujo while working around the house because he seemed a bit off.  When Jeff got back less than half an hour later, we talked about it and watched Cujo who then threw up.  Jeff went to pet him and found his belly swollen and hard.  They immediately headed to the vet, and I finished up at the house and followed.

By the time I reached the vet’s office (@#$% Lincoln Ave lunchtime traffic), they’d already done an x-ray to confirm bloat and tried to drain off some of the pressure with a catheter.  Cujo was quite distressed, uncomfortable and panting heavily, which would only make the condition worse.

It came down to the fact that Cujo would not survive bloat surgery due to his progressing heart failure.  Our vet, cardiologist and the criticalist at the specialty hospital agreed – we could do the surgery but he was unlikely to survive it and it would only put him through more pain.

IMG_0978

In the end, he was sedated and comfortable and we were able to spend time with him before saying goodbye.  Our hearts were broken - and still are.

IMG_0982

25 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh Molly, I am in tears after reading this. I didn't realize it was bloat - I hate that effing thing, it's taken too many good dogs too soon.

My heart is with you and Jeff.

mtanner said...

All my love to you and Jeff. That picture is gut wrenching. As I write this the tears are streaming down my face. That video is absolutely priceless. xoxo

salmonmoose said...

oh Cujo my poor big fluffy sweetpea. (tears) So goddam fucking unfair. Poor Jeff and poor you. I am just totally out of words and crushed by this. I know there is little I can do to help but if you think of anything at all please let me know.

LittleRachet said...

My heart is breaking for you guys. Although unconfirmed, I'm pretty sure that I lost Bud to bloat. His symptoms were masked by post-surgical "weirdness". I'm glad you guys got the chance to say goodbye. I wish that for any pet owner.

Marcia said...

F**k bloat. Too many great dogs succumb to it; such a devastating condition. I still haven't gotten over losing Bleu to it and it's been almost 2 years.
You and Jeff have my deepest sympathies on the loss of a great buddy and matchmaker, who helped bring you 2 together.

Kathleen said...

Tears are streaming. Again, I am so sorry.

beardies3 said...

That final photo of Jeff and Cujo so reminds me of my final time with Brodie. I sat on the floor and I'm sure my expression matched Jeffs. Brodie lay looking up at me while I cradled his head in my arms and soaked his poor face with tears. I was praying you would not have to make that horrid decision but it is the only one that was fair to Cujo. I so understand how Jeff feels. Hugs to you both.

Kris said...

The pics alone are heart breaking. I am dreading the day I have to make that decision for my girl....but we can only do what is best for them and love them to bits while they're here. So sorry you guys had to go through this. :(

Teresa said...

Big hugs.
tn

San said...

Ah noooo. Molly, Jeff I'm so sorry for you. Cujo was such a great dog. I'm lost for words.

Sending you hugs.

Ginger Spansel said...

Thank you for sharing the wonderful video of Cujo. I know how your hearts are hurting. Sending long distance hugs and comfort.
Ginger

Jen said...

The shockwaves from losing Cujo extend all the way to Florida. I feel like I've "known" Cujo for years. I remember buying a Milkbone box with his smiling face on it. He did indeed touch lives all over the country.

Meera said...

I'm so, so sorry, Molly. It has to be torturous watching your dog suffer bloat and know that you can't save him. What a horrible situation for you and Jeff to be faced with. I hope the big guy is resting easy and that you, Jeff, Max and Stanley are able to help each other through the loss.

Jennifer said...

Oh Molly, that is tragic! I am so sorry to hear this. Heartbreaking.

Satarupa said...

That picture of Jeff and Cujo says it all :(
Love and hugs to you and Jeff.

Larissa said...

Oh no! Tears are streaming down my face right now. Rip Cujo! It is so hard to let go of the ones we love. He had a good life that was full of adventure and love. Don't worry though my granma will give him lots of loves and treats :)

Maria said...

Hugs and kisses to the boys, I know they are missing Cujo just as much as you and Jeff are. My thoughts are with you all.

Kim said...

oh molly, my heart goes out to you and jeff. xoxo

lynn said...

oh my god, i am so so sorry for such a huge and awful loss :( i wish i knew what to say, it is just too heartbreaking! :( :(

Wes said...

I'm hoping that the sun is a little brighter today for you both...

Nicole said...

I'm a blog stalker and have been reading for quite some time, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. Having gone through bloat with our own dog I know how heart wrenching it is to have to make the decision. I am so sorry for you, your husband and your four legged boys.

Nicole said...

I've been reading your blog for quite some time without comment, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your big beautiful boy. Having gone through bloat with one of our own dogs I know what a heart wrenching decision it is...I'm sorry to you, your husband and Cujo's four legged brothers.

Diamond Girl said...

Crying. I'm so, so, so sorry! All of your blog followers will truly miss seeing him. :(

Erin said...

I shouldn't have read that... Don't get me wrong it was a great post, but now I am posting with tears streaming down my face. My heart goes out to you guys.

Leana said...

Molly, I am so sorry to hear about Cujo. My heart goes out to you, Jeff and the beardies. :(