Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Mistress of Pain

Now some might argue that my mistress of pain looks like this, and most days I would probably agree with you.

But today the face of pain looks a little different; her name is Andrea.

Andrea is the massage therapist I started seeing this year in an effort to recover better and faster from my training efforts. She is an athlete so she knows all the spots that need extra attention.

Lucky me, I’ve been blessed with being extra-tight just about everywhere so I provide Andrea with lots of material to work with. In particular though, I retain some spectacularly huge knots in my glutes (product of that back injury from a few years ago) and a lot of tightness in the hips. So I give Andrea the green light to dig in and do whatever she has to in order to make it better. Given that I haven’t had a single back flareup since I started working with her, this pays off BIG-TIME in my opinion.

With 10 days till Boise, and after my last big build of training beat me up well, I wanted someone to take a crack at my sore spots and whip them into shape.

Our sessions always start out innocently enough, like any other massage I’ve had. A little neck massage, a little digging in my tight shoulders, and then…

AND. THEN.

OW!GODDAMNMOTHERF^%$#$&*^$#OW!!!

My favorite (where’s the sarcasm font when you need it?) part is when she digs an elbow into my glutes and applies all the force of her body weight while torqueing my leg back and forth to get that pressure into more of the glute muscle and hip flexor.

Yoga breathing comes in handy at moments like these, as I’m gripping the sheets and praying for it all to be over soon. I take long slow deep breaths to make sure I’m not flexing my muscles tightly, because that would just mean it would take her longer.

And then finally, it is over. She strolls out casually, while I lie slumped between the sheets, wondering why she couldn’t have at least thrown me a bone at the end with a little footrub or something. Le Sigh.

Isn’t it grand, the things we do in the name of health and fitness?

9 comments:

tribeaner said...

A good massage therapist is worth every penny...and four letter expletive. :D

melissa said...

I was grimacing just reading that. Ow. At least it seems to help.

Greyt Times said...

Mine makes me hurt too, but at least I get the happy foot rub at the end!

TriGirl Kate O said...

"Le Sigh" lol!

Those elbows-in-butts hurt so good.

ShirleyPerly said...

I used to go to a sports massage therapist that would bring me on the verge of tears often. But you're right, it is so worth it, esp. if you have places that need attention. Hurts so good.

Wes said...

I would need alcohol... lots before during and after :-)

Missy said...

My has me close to tears, up off the table and cussing at her EVERYTIME. What about this, what about that? Yeah, I know THAT HURTS!!! BUT it works, what can ya do.

Duane said...

That's funny! Good luck in Boise!

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

As my Massage Therapist in Pensacola used to say (as she either had her elbow in my glutes or was pressing the life out of a knot in my calf): "You would never do this to yourself."

Those suckers HURT! But are worth every penny! KEEP IT UP!!!